


i don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you

by thegreenfairy246



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Fluff, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:55:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27601738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegreenfairy246/pseuds/thegreenfairy246
Summary: after a night of drinking, cas realizes there's something he's gotta tell dean.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 37





	i don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you

Cas is drunk, of this he's sure. The night had started innocently enough, Charlie had just been trying to take his mind off Dean. He's not sure when it veered off course, but all he had done was get drunk. Now, Dean was all he could think about. 

He's in the back of a cab, hurtling down a familiar street, on his way to a familiar apartment. When the driver stops, Cas quickly hands him some cash before glancing up at Dean's building. With courage he only has when he's this drunk, he sneaks around the back, winding his way through the community garden. Before he can think about it too much, he kneels down and finds a pebble. He squints a bit, lining it up, then the pebble is sailing through the air before colliding with the window. Even though he could find Dean's window in any state, he's still nervous he's got the wrong one. He gets no answer, so he tries again. He knows the window is right next to Dean's bed, he's spent enough hours there looking out at this very garden. While he waits, he imagines Dean laying in bed, the simple peace only on his face in sleep. He had tried to count his freckles once, but he'd lost count. Desperately, he wanted to try again and again, getting lost in his constellations until he knew the number exactly. Deep down, he's only thinking about him there, asleep, so he won't think about him out with somebody else. 

Cas isn't sure how many pebbles he's thrown before Dean's head pops out the window. His hair is sticking up at odd angles and his eyes are still half closed with sleep. It takes him a minute to find Cas, his eyes scan the area all around him before they settle. Cas thinks he sees a spark of happiness in his eyes, but he's always been called a wishful thinker. 

"Cas? What are you doing here?"

"C'mere! Wanna talk to you."

Dean looks at him for what seems, to Cas, like a long time. "Okay. Just stay there."

Cas had come here with a purpose, but now that Dean was so close he didn't think he could do it. His stomach is in knots and Dean's not even down the stairs.

Sooner than Cas is ready for, Dean is there in front of him. He looks so soft, only in a t-shirt and pajama pants. There's scruff on his cheeks. Cas barely stops himself from nuzzling against it.

"Man, what are you doing here? Why didn't you just come-" Dean seems to remember their last conversation and stop himself. "Call. Why didn't you call?"

"It was…spur of the," a hiccup cuts him off, "moment."

"Yeah?" Closer now, Dean stares into his eyes. "Are you drunk?"

Cas shrugs. "A little."

Dean blows out a breath. "Do you want to come up?" He runs a hand through already messy hair. Before he speaks again, he picks a spot of ground to stare at and doesn't lift his eyes. "You could sleep it off…or whatever."

Maybe it's the nervousness in Dean's voice. Maybe it's the sleep still hanging on him. He couldn't say what, but something about Dean makes what he came here to say so much easier. "I'm in love with you. That's why I had to end our…arrangement, I couldn't take being so close to you and never really having you. Not the way I truly wanted."

Dean's head whips up and a grin spreads across his face. "You love me?"

Cas laughs, he can't help it. It seems impossible that Dean doesn't already know.

"Of course I do. I just, I couldn't do this anymore." Cas scoffs. "I mean, Charlie is the only one that knows about us." Cas gestures between them. "Whatever we are."

"I didn't think you'd want anyone to know." Dean mumbles. "You know, someone like you ending up with someone like me. I thought you'd be embarrassed."

Cas just can't help but kiss him. 

The kiss is just like all the other kisses, Cas can feel it down to his toes. Dean's arms come up to wrap around his waist. Without them, Cas is sure he'd fall over. 

When they pull apart, Dean murmurs against his lips. "I'll tell the whole world about us if you want. Give me a minute and I'll go shout it from the rooftop."

Cas laughs, an easy thing, bubbling right out of his throat. He's almost forgotten why he ended it with Dean in the first place. Between the look in Dean's eyes, a mix of adoration and sleep, the kiss they'd shared, and the fact he was still drunk, Cas had gotten overwhelmed. Shaking his head, he steps out of the circle of Dean's arms.

"If we're gonna do this again, it has to be different. No more-no more sneaking around." Cas pauses, considers his next few words. "I wanna go on dates. Out in public." He shrugs. "Movie nights are nice and all but…" he trails off, and looks at the stars up above them. He uses his drunk confidence one last time to say, "I want to be your boyfriend." Cas chances a glance at Dean to see how that information has settled. But Dean doesn't look freaked out. On the contrary, there's a look on his face Cas doesn't think he's ever seen before. Cas thinks it's something close to contentment.

"I love you. This whole," Dean waves a hand around between them, "friends with benefits thing." Dean chuckles. "Man, it's all I thought I could get. I've always, always wanted something more, but…this little piece of you that I had, it was enough for me. I couldn't imagine you wanting anything like what I wanted." Dean takes a few steps towards Cas, takes Cas's hands in his own, before he continues. "But I do love you, and if you feel that way too, Cas, you can have it all. You always could have."

There's a lump in Cas's throat he doesn't think he can speak around, he tries anyway. "I guess we should have just talked, huh?"

Dean laughs. "It would have saved us a lot of time." Dean leans in and presses another short kiss to his lips. "Will you stay the night?" Dean shrugs, licks his lips. "Or forever? Please?"

Cas feels the grin spread across his face and nods. Dean links their fingers together, and Cas lets himself be led up to his apartment.

In the morning, Cas wakes up in a bed he quickly realizes is not his own. He's got an awful hangover. He cracks an eye open, finds pain pills and a Gatorade on the nightstand. It's only then that he notices the weight slung over his side, and last night comes flooding back to him. His night of drinking all the way to his lovesick confession. He glances over his shoulder and sees Dean, still there, sleeping peacefully. He grins, he can't wait to tell Charlie.

**Author's Note:**

> hi! thank y'all for reading! if you liked it you can follow me on tumblr @scoobydean


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